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Thursday, August 03, 2006

laloo jokes

Kashmir on sale: Laloo
There is an emergency election in India and Laloo runs for the election on the campaign promise "I will solve the J & K problem with Pakistan in one WEEK!"

Because of the political equations he ends up becoming the Prime Minister.

As promised, he decides to meet the Pakistan's premier to hold talks on J & K. Both Laloo and Musharraf huddle in a meeting for 30 minutes. As they come out Musharraf announces that they are withdrawing support to the militants and J & K is India's to keep! Everyone is excited!

One reporter asks Laloo as to how he did it!

Laloo replies: I put J & K on sale. It's just like you "buy a TV and you get a camera free" kind a deal. I told Musharraf to take J & K and he will get Bihar for free!

Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Vegas?"
Operator: "just a minute, sir ..."
Laloo: "THANK YOU", and puts down the phone.

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says,"JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO PRASAD, MARRIED."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims."YOU ARE A FOOL".
Laloo replies. "SEE THIS CARTOON, IT IS WRITTEN-"FOR 4-7 YRS".

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION!!
LALOO, THIRD FROM LEFT.

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state.Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very "inefficient", he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

***
During an International conference, three scientists, an American, a German, and an Indian, were talking and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved in the field of medicine. The American said "In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms so we attached artificial arms on him. And now that he's grown up and became an Olympic professional boxer and a gold medallist !"
The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have achieved. Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs so we attached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time Olympics marathon gold medalist !"
The Indian interjected " Is that all you have achieved, just gold medalists? In Patna, Bihar we had a baby boy born without a HEAD ! We attached a COCONUT and called him Laloo and he has grown up and now he is the Chief Minister of State of Bihar !"

1 comment:

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