I am going to ask you three questions. And you have to answer
them instantly. You can't take your time you have to answer
immediately. O.K.?
Let's find just how clever you really are ........ Ready? GO
!!!!!
First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake
the second. What position do you finish?
NOW! See the answer below..
Answer: If you answer that you arrived first, then you are
absolutely wrong!!! because you overtake the second and you
take his place so you arrived second!!! !!
To answer the second question don't take as much time as you
took for the first question. Second Question: If you overtake
the last then you arrive...?
Answer: If you answer that you arrived second last then you
are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the last if he
was last!!!! The question is wrong! You're not very good at
this are you???
Third Question Subject: *Very very Tricky maths! Note: This
riddle must be done IN YOUR HEAD ONLY and NOT using paper and
a pen. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30.
Another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10.
What is the total? (scroll down for answer)
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don' t
believe it? Check with your calculator! The decimal sequence
confuses our brain, that always jumps to the highest decimals
(100s instead of 10s).
That should have you in a bad mood for the rest of the day!!!
You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
And finally ... Quote for the day: "Computer games don't
affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all
be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and
listening to repetitive electronic music."
Saturday, July 01, 2006
haikoo
Some programmers in Japan have replaced the impersonal and
unhelpful
Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poems.
Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only
three lines,
17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the
second, five
in the third.
Haiku's are used to communicate a timeless message, often
achieving a
wistful yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity
- the essence
of Zen.
Here are the new error messages, haiku style:
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The website you seek
Cannot be located,
But countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen.
Mind. Both are blank.
(from Kate Armstrong)
unhelpful
Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poems.
Haiku poetry has strict construction rules. Each poem has only
three lines,
17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the
second, five
in the third.
Haiku's are used to communicate a timeless message, often
achieving a
wistful yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity
- the essence
of Zen.
Here are the new error messages, haiku style:
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The website you seek
Cannot be located,
But countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen.
Mind. Both are blank.
(from Kate Armstrong)
***Three Turtles***
Three turtles, Joe, Steve, and Raymond, decide to go on a
picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled
sodas, and sandwiches. The
trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles
take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive,
everyone's exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket,
one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, 'all right,
Steve, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I didn't bring the bottle
opener,' Steve says. 'I thought you packed it.' Joe gets
worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle
opener?'
Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck
ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Raymond
to turn back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses,
knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
After about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Raymond
to go, swearing on their great grand turtles' graves that they
won't touch the food.
So, Raymond sets off down the road, slow and steadily.
Twenty days pass, but no Raymond. Joe and Steve are hungry and
puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and
still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise. After three more
days pass without Raymond in sight,
Steve starts getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a
hint of dementia in his voice. 'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We
promised.' Five more days pass.
Joe realizes that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner
down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a
sandwich, and
open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant,
Raymond
pops out from behind a rock, and says, 'I knew it!, That's it!
I'm not going.'
picnic. Joe packs the picnic basket with cookies, bottled
sodas, and sandwiches. The
trouble is, the picnic site is 10 miles away, so the turtles
take 10 whole days to get there. By the time they do arrive,
everyone's exhausted. Joe takes the stuff out of the basket,
one by one. He takes out the sodas and says, 'all right,
Steve, gimme the bottle opener.' 'I didn't bring the bottle
opener,' Steve says. 'I thought you packed it.' Joe gets
worried. He turns to Raymond. 'Raymond, do you have the bottle
opener?'
Naturally, Raymond doesn't have it, so the turtles are stuck
ten miles away from home without soda. Joe & Steve beg Raymond
to turn back home and retrieve it, but Raymond flatly refuses,
knowing that they'll eat everything by the time he gets back.
After about two hours, the turtles manage to convince Raymond
to go, swearing on their great grand turtles' graves that they
won't touch the food.
So, Raymond sets off down the road, slow and steadily.
Twenty days pass, but no Raymond. Joe and Steve are hungry and
puzzled, but a promise is a promise. Another day passes, and
still no Raymond, but a promise is a promise. After three more
days pass without Raymond in sight,
Steve starts getting restless. 'I NEED FOOD!' he says with a
hint of dementia in his voice. 'NO!' Joe retorts. 'We
promised.' Five more days pass.
Joe realizes that Raymond probably skipped out to the diner
down the road, so the two turtles weakly lift the lid, get a
sandwich, and
open their mouths to eat. But then, right at that instant,
Raymond
pops out from behind a rock, and says, 'I knew it!, That's it!
I'm not going.'
Young and old
Young Man : Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man : Certainly not.
Young Man : Sir, but why ? What are you going to
loose, if you tell me
the time.?
Old Man : Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.
Young Man : But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and
may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man : Quite possible.
Old Man : May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name
and address.
Young Man : Quite possible.
Old Man : One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing
by and came in to wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will
offer you a cup
of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to
come again. This
time you will appreciate tea and ask as to who has
made it.?
Young Man : Possible
Old Man : Then I will tell you that my daughter has
made it and I will
then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to
you.You will
admire my daughter.
Young Man : Smiles.
Old Man : Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again.
You will offer her to go out for a movie together
Young Man : Smiles
Old Man : My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you.
After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her
and
propose her for marriage.
Young Man : Smiles
Old Man : One day both of you will come to me and tell
me about your
love and ask for my permission.
Young Man : Oh Yes! and smiles.
Old Man : (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
daughter to a
person like you who does not even own a watch.
Young Man : Shocked
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Old Man : Certainly not.
Young Man : Sir, but why ? What are you going to
loose, if you tell me
the time.?
Old Man : Yes, I may loose something if I tell you the
time.
Young Man : But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man : See, if I tell you the time you will
definitely thank me and
may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man : Quite possible.
Old Man : May be we meet two three times more and you
will ask my name
and address.
Young Man : Quite possible.
Old Man : One day you may come to my house saying you
were just passing
by and came in to wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will
offer you a cup
of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to
come again. This
time you will appreciate tea and ask as to who has
made it.?
Young Man : Possible
Old Man : Then I will tell you that my daughter has
made it and I will
then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to
you.You will
admire my daughter.
Young Man : Smiles.
Old Man : Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter
again and again.
You will offer her to go out for a movie together
Young Man : Smiles
Old Man : My daughter may start liking you and start
waiting for you.
After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her
and
propose her for marriage.
Young Man : Smiles
Old Man : One day both of you will come to me and tell
me about your
love and ask for my permission.
Young Man : Oh Yes! and smiles.
Old Man : (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my
daughter to a
person like you who does not even own a watch.
Young Man : Shocked
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cellphone in the Locker room
There are several men in the locker room of a private club
after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the
benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a
beautiful mink coat... it is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy
it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00"
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw
the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the
salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we
need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What
price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank
account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning
and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on
sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of
park area, beachfront property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $850,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have
that much in
the bank to cover..."
"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $820,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye... I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand
while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone that was on one of the
benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:
"Hello?"
"Honey, It's me."
"Sugar!"
"Are you at the club?"
"Yes."
"Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a
beautiful mink coat... it is absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy
it?"
"What's the price?"
"Only $1,500.00"
"Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..."
"Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw
the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the
salesman and he gave me a really good price ... and since we
need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What
price did he quote you?"
"Only $60,000..."
"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
"Great!, before we hang up, something else..."
"What?"
"It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank
account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning
and I saw the house we had looked at last year ... it's on
sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of
park area, beachfront property..."
"How much are they asking?"
"Only $850,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have
that much in
the bank to cover..."
"Well, than go ahead and buy it, but just bid $820,000. OK?"
"OK, sweetie... Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye... I do too..."
The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and raises his hand
while holding the phone and asks to all those present:
"Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
*** The Notes ***
An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them could accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. So, they decided to go see their doctor to get some help.
Their doctor told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple liked the suggestion and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice.
When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don't you write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"
"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."
"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"
"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife.
"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem, a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans and making lots of noise.
He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"
Their doctor told them that many people their age find it useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. The elderly couple liked the suggestion and left the doctor's office very pleased with the advice.
When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? And why don't you write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice cream!"
"Well," said the wife, "I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that down, because I know you'll forget."
"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream and some strawberries. I can remember that!"
"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top. Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget," said the wife.
"Come now, my memory's not all that bad," said the husband. "No problem, a dish of ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The wife could hear him getting out pots and pans and making lots of noise.
He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced up at her husband and said, "Hey, where's the toast?"
-=- Letters -=-
***
This morning as I rose from bed and saw the sun above,
I softly said "Good Morning God, bless everyone I love".
And right away I thought of you and said a loving prayer
That He would bless you especially and keep you from care.
I thought of all the happiness your day could hold in store;
And wished it all for you, because no one deserves it more.
I felt so warm and good inside, my heart was all aglow
I know God heard my prayer for you,
He hears them all you know.
***
Today when I signed online,
I was happy and pleased to see.
That in my incoming mail,
Was a letter from you to me.
I love the cards you send me
And all the giggles too!
But the biggest thrill of all,
Was seeing it came from you.
Now we don't talk that much
So letters and cards say it all.
But I want you to know they're special
No matter how big or small.
So keep the e-mail coming
I love it ever so much.
And know its really appreciated,
Whenever you keep in touch! ;-)
***
My ABC's of Friendship...
Always There For You!
Brighten The Days!
Caring & Considerate!
Delightful To Know!
Encouraging Hearts!
Forever Friends!
Generosity!
Honest & Trustworthy!
Integrity!
Joking Around!
Kindhearted!
Life, Love & Laughter!
Miles Make No Difference!
Neverending Support!
Open Talks!
Precious To Me!
Quiet Times Too!
ROFLMAO With You!
Sharing Pieces of Our Souls!
Thank You, For Being You!
Understanding Ways!
Valuable Gift Of Friendship!
Wonderful Person You Are!
X's, O's & Bunches Of Love!
You Are So Special!
Zany Times & Zest For Life!
***
This morning as I rose from bed and saw the sun above,
I softly said "Good Morning God, bless everyone I love".
And right away I thought of you and said a loving prayer
That He would bless you especially and keep you from care.
I thought of all the happiness your day could hold in store;
And wished it all for you, because no one deserves it more.
I felt so warm and good inside, my heart was all aglow
I know God heard my prayer for you,
He hears them all you know.
***
Today when I signed online,
I was happy and pleased to see.
That in my incoming mail,
Was a letter from you to me.
I love the cards you send me
And all the giggles too!
But the biggest thrill of all,
Was seeing it came from you.
Now we don't talk that much
So letters and cards say it all.
But I want you to know they're special
No matter how big or small.
So keep the e-mail coming
I love it ever so much.
And know its really appreciated,
Whenever you keep in touch! ;-)
***
My ABC's of Friendship...
Always There For You!
Brighten The Days!
Caring & Considerate!
Delightful To Know!
Encouraging Hearts!
Forever Friends!
Generosity!
Honest & Trustworthy!
Integrity!
Joking Around!
Kindhearted!
Life, Love & Laughter!
Miles Make No Difference!
Neverending Support!
Open Talks!
Precious To Me!
Quiet Times Too!
ROFLMAO With You!
Sharing Pieces of Our Souls!
Thank You, For Being You!
Understanding Ways!
Valuable Gift Of Friendship!
Wonderful Person You Are!
X's, O's & Bunches Of Love!
You Are So Special!
Zany Times & Zest For Life!
***
Let's PARTY
A research conducted on a herd of wild African buffalo shows that the herd can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.
Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.
HEE HEE
SO HURRY
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link between all-weekend parties and job related performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.
Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieved during their university years.
So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge we should not shudder in our homes. Get back into the bars! Quaff that pint! Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have.
HEE HEE
SO HURRY
*** Nightmares ***
A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare - the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed. The next day, Auntie Susie dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed. The
next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die.
After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife. "Good God, Dear," he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!" She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed. The
next day, granddaddy dies.
One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare - the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.
The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure is going to die.
After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.
Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife. "Good God, Dear," he proclaims, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!" She responds, "You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."
-=- Sony -=-
Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new portable PC called the Vaio. Instead of producing the cryptic error messages characteristic of Microsoft's Windows 95, 3.1, and DOS operating systems, Sony's chairman Asai Tawara said,
"We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."
The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
countless more exist
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
"We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been - until now - an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry."
The chairman went on to give examples of Sony's new error messages:
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
countless more exist
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.
With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down
A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Astrology Passion Guide
ARIES: Seeks to satisfy themselves sexually. Selfish in sex.
TAURUS: Prefers sensual lovemaking.
GEMINI: Looking for the passion in an unusual way.
CANCER: Searching for the long term passion.
LEO: Likes to be worshipped, hot to handle.
VIRGO: Slow, carefull and cautious.
LIBRA: Likes the extended foreplay.
SCORPIO: Quick to love and quick to leave.
SAGITTARIUS: The more encounters the better.
CAPRICORN: Mind will be on other matters.
AQUARIUS: Needs a partner for adventure.
PISCES: Turns it on all the way.
*The Astrological Lust Guide*
Wondering how to satisfy your lover's ardent feelings? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the Signs.
Aries seeks to gratify themselves.
Taurus tends to massage their partner slowly and sensually.
Gemini wants to write no-frills poetry, hoping for a menage-a-trois.
Cancer craves holding on to something for a very long time.
Leo likes to prance about and be admired before anything happens.
Virgo is into taking a shower, inspecting their fingernails and preparing hygienically for an evening of safe sex.
Libra desires to watch a romantic movie while smooching on the couch.
Scorpio starts the encounter at 5 in the evening and doesn't end it until three days later.
Sagittarius wants to have as many casual encounters as possible.
Capricorn's idea of foreplay is working on spreadsheets.
Aquarius is into holding hands while jumping from a plane.
Pisces wants to get wet and wild
TAURUS: Prefers sensual lovemaking.
GEMINI: Looking for the passion in an unusual way.
CANCER: Searching for the long term passion.
LEO: Likes to be worshipped, hot to handle.
VIRGO: Slow, carefull and cautious.
LIBRA: Likes the extended foreplay.
SCORPIO: Quick to love and quick to leave.
SAGITTARIUS: The more encounters the better.
CAPRICORN: Mind will be on other matters.
AQUARIUS: Needs a partner for adventure.
PISCES: Turns it on all the way.
*The Astrological Lust Guide*
Wondering how to satisfy your lover's ardent feelings? Keep reading for insight into the passionate nature of the Signs.
Aries seeks to gratify themselves.
Taurus tends to massage their partner slowly and sensually.
Gemini wants to write no-frills poetry, hoping for a menage-a-trois.
Cancer craves holding on to something for a very long time.
Leo likes to prance about and be admired before anything happens.
Virgo is into taking a shower, inspecting their fingernails and preparing hygienically for an evening of safe sex.
Libra desires to watch a romantic movie while smooching on the couch.
Scorpio starts the encounter at 5 in the evening and doesn't end it until three days later.
Sagittarius wants to have as many casual encounters as possible.
Capricorn's idea of foreplay is working on spreadsheets.
Aquarius is into holding hands while jumping from a plane.
Pisces wants to get wet and wild
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