laloo jokes

Kashmir on sale: Laloo
There is an emergency election in India and Laloo runs for the election on the campaign promise "I will solve the J & K problem with Pakistan in one WEEK!"

Because of the political equations he ends up becoming the Prime Minister.

As promised, he decides to meet the Pakistan's premier to hold talks on J & K. Both Laloo and Musharraf huddle in a meeting for 30 minutes. As they come out Musharraf announces that they are withdrawing support to the militants and J & K is India's to keep! Everyone is excited!

One reporter asks Laloo as to how he did it!

Laloo replies: I put J & K on sale. It's just like you "buy a TV and you get a camera free" kind a deal. I told Musharraf to take J & K and he will get Bihar for free!

Laloo to a long-distance telephone operator: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Vegas?"
Operator: "just a minute, sir ..."
Laloo: "THANK YOU", and puts down the phone.

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says,"JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO PRASAD, MARRIED."

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Laloo proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT," Laloo brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG." the friend exclaims."YOU ARE A FOOL".
Laloo replies. "SEE THIS CARTOON, IT IS WRITTEN-"FOR 4-7 YRS".

After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modeling. On one occasion, he enters a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION!!
LALOO, THIRD FROM LEFT.

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Emissary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state.Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised."You Japanese are very "inefficient", he stated. "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into the next Bihar!"

***
During an International conference, three scientists, an American, a German, and an Indian, were talking and bragging about the technological advances their respective countries have achieved in the field of medicine. The American said "In Washington, there was a baby boy born without arms so we attached artificial arms on him. And now that he's grown up and became an Olympic professional boxer and a gold medallist !"
The German replied, "That's nothing to what we have achieved. Back in Berlin, there was a baby girl born without legs so we attached a pair of artificial legs on her. Now she is a three-time Olympics marathon gold medalist !"
The Indian interjected " Is that all you have achieved, just gold medalists? In Patna, Bihar we had a baby boy born without a HEAD ! We attached a COCONUT and called him Laloo and he has grown up and now he is the Chief Minister of State of Bihar !"

To my friend

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry",
not "where are you' but "I'm right here",
not "how could you" but "I understand",
not "I wish you were", but "I'm thankful you are."


To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years
spent together but How good you are for each other.


To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming somebody else's "perfect
person." It's About finding someone who helps you
become the best person you can be.


To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want and cut as deep
as you allow them to go. The challenge is not how to
survive heartbreaks but to learn from them.


To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE
How to be in love: Fall but don't stumble, be
consistent but not too persistent, share and never be
unfair, understand and try not to demand, and
get hurt but never keep the pain.


To My Friends Who Are............SEARCHING
True love cannot be found where it does not truly
exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love
is magic. The more we hide it, the more it
shows; the more you suppress it, the more it grows.


To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say I love if you don't care. Never talk about
feelings if they aren't there. Never touch a life if
you mean to break a heart. Never look in the
eye when what you do is lie. The cruelest thing a
person can do to another, is to let them fall in love
when they don't intend to catch their fall.


To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy
with someone else But it's more painful to know that
the one you love is unhappy with you.


To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone. It hurts
even more when someone breaks up with you. But love
hurts the most when the person you love has no
idea how you feel.


To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is that when you meet someone
who means a lot To you, only to find out in the end
that it was never meant to be and we Just have
to let go.


To My Friends Who Are............SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the
more it eludes you. But if you just let it fly, it
would come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often times it hurts,
but love's only special when you give it to someone
who is worth it. So take your time and choose
the best.